"As far back as I can remember, I've always had weight problems . I have not always been obese. Young, I quickly had shapes. I was told "generous" or, less politely, "dirty". It was almost inevitable: I was very greedy and ... I did not play sports!
My weight quickly became a taboo but also a subject of mockery and conflict at home. If at school I suffered the insults and mocking glances of my comrades, family, it was reminders to the order of my parents. A mixture close to harassment.
"I followed diets, I often invented them"
In everyday life, my complexes were numerous, my permanent malaise. I dreaded the activities that require a particular accouterment. The swimming pool ? A trial. All the situations that could relate to near or far to my weight bothered me: a snack, a dinner at the restaurant, a shopping session with friends ... Little by little, I locked myself, preventing me from going out, to meet people. In short, preventing me from living, simply.
At table, my relationship with food has become more complicated year after year. I followed diets, I also invented them often, sometimes bringing me closer to anorexia . In those moments, I did not allow myself any deviation, no pleasure, drastically limiting the quantities that I inflicted. The result ? Weight loss each time fast but a frustration increased tenfold. At the least "cracking", I took all the pounds off, and more ...
"I achieved a BMI of 40" or morbid obesity
In 2014, I reached my record weight: 100 kg for 1.58 meters. And a BMI of 40, morbid obesity. Not only did I not recognize myself but worse, I was deformed. Mom of a little girl, I realized one day that I could not read a story without being breathless. The click.
I had already heard about surgeries against obesity , without really being interested in it, without feeling really concerned especially. It took me almost a year to decide, to weigh the pros and the cons, before starting the process.
The operation as a last resort
Before that, and after consulting several nutritionists, behaviorists and even hypnotherapist to lose weight, I followed a psychotherapy that lasted 5 years. I ended up putting the finger on the origin of my eating disorders , which is obviously beneficial. But that did not allow me to lose all this accumulated weight, which weighed me so much.
The reduction operation of the stomach has become, for me, a last resort. The procedure, very framed, requires a lot of thought but also preparation. After having obtained the agreement of the surgeon with whom I made contact thanks to the mouth-to-ears, I was hospitalized three days in order to carry out a series of examinations necessary to the constitution of my file for the social security. This one is then studied in committee for agreement. My "Sleeve" surgery was scheduled for November 24, 2015.
Postoperative painful consequences
Before entering the block for laparoscopy , I was forced to a strict diet to defat my liver: 0% yogurt, white ham and de-fattened broth for 7 days.
The operation went well. The post-op suites have been more complicated to manage. Not only was I constantly afraid of the fistula (tearing of the stomach during healing) but most of all, I had a lot of pain. What to think about those who imagine that using this type of method is an "easy solution" or a "lack of will" as has sometimes been suggested.
"The boost I needed to find myself"
Since then, my life has changed dramatically. Of course, I lost a lot of weight-10 kg the first month and a total of almost 40 kg over six months-but I never eat and feed myself like most people. My meals are rationed, (about 150 g of food per intake), not only because I am satiated very quickly but also because a surplus food would cause intense pain, or even a burst.
I do not regret my choice, even if there are difficult moments. I consider this operation as the boost I needed to finally find myself and start a lifestyle change over time.
From this experience, which goes beyond the operation itself, I drew a book. On the one hand to free myself from my emotions but also and above all to help the future operated on, those who fight against their obesity. Before the operation, I searched this book, in vain. I hope he will enlighten people in the same way as me. "
* Eat can kill! Journey of a Sleevée , Laurine Penverne, www.edilivre.com
