Give them the value of the effort!
The effort can be learned from an early age!
Teach them effort at home and outside
The effort and the school!
The stuff of parents to give them taste to the effort!
The taste of effort: first a history of education!
On television, children watch programs that become rich and famous in six months. They are also the first to take advantage of the technology that makes our lives easier, with plagiarism on the Net sometimes taking their place. All this makes them believe that work is not necessary.
The fault of society? No doubt, but it is also a question of education . We tend to encourage them on the way to immediate satisfaction : in the evening, tired, we have only one desire, to create a soft cocoon and serve them as pashas. At the first academic difficulty, they are paid for private lessons , and they buy CD-Roms, more playful, to learn English. Of course, it is also thanks to the game or because they have desire for the objective to achieve that they take pleasure in providing effort (repeat on the guitar ...), but the spontaneous motivation can not exist for everything and you do not get to anything while having fun. Stress and frustration often result in stress . And to transmit it to them is to accustom them to tolerate this dissatisfaction .
Give them the value of the effort!
To rehabilitate the notion of effort restores the balance between the principles of pleasure and reality , to show them that there are requirements before which one can not retreat (learn one's lessons, make one's bed ...). And we must convince them that they do not know everything, that they must seek, repeat, miss to reach a goal, force themselves to overcome resistance. Far from being a question of morality, it is a pragmatic question. Remains that the sense of work is not easy to inculcate! Adults consent because they pursue goals, children live in the present: why bind themselves to learn to get better things later? It does not happen, it is exercised by being confronted every day, and well before the pre-adolescence. This "conditioning" takes a lot of effort on parents! We must take time and accept to go to the conflict to give rules and obligations , explain, monitor, demand ... Specialists guide us daily, parents give us their tricks.The effort can be learned from an early age!
With Didier Pleux, psychologist
Transmit the firstfruits to him, teaching him, baby, to defer his pleasure . Do not run on the bottle at first cry, accustom him to wait a little while explaining to him that you prepare his meal. If you anticipate his needs, he feels that everything comes right away. Praise him when he has not made a whim for the supermarket toy, the sense of effort begins in the crisis he will not sting. Validate his behavior: "You did not scream, I'm proud of you."
Take advantage of his penchant for the "me all alone" and let him try to put on and tie his shoes, otherwise he believes that what he does not do himself is done anyway. Approve the work provided, he will want to start over. It's the age where you make fun is also a powerful motivation.
Maintain his curiosity , he is in spontaneous effort , always willing to learn, understand. Teach her to go through an activity.
Teach them effort at home and outside
The effort at home!
With Didier Pleux
Ask him, from a very young age, to help you in the form of a game : we play the races, sort the linen ... And thank him: "I would have put more time without you!" this habit of involving him in tasks . Even if he has his homework, he can, a quarter of an hour a day, put the table, help clean the car ...
Make him feel the well-being you feel as a result of an effort: "You will see how you will feel clearer in your head when your room is put away." So life opens up to the future , beyond the immediate sensation.
He must also become aware of the satisfaction to achieve something : make a dish, pick raspberries and offer them to grandma, play a good piece of music.
Testify that there is a pleasure in building a long-term happiness: "I had a hard day, so tonight I go to the movies with Dad." So alternate in his head work and comfort .
Stress and sport!
With Anne Nottelet, EPS teacher and coach
As soon as he is old, proceed in stages to learn the tricycle. Decorate the efforts (pedaling, handlebar), let him speak of his strategy: "How did you do?" And if it falls, it goes up! Tell him what it will bring him.
Impose at least one sport. It is the domain par excellence where one learns to persevere and where interest develops by doing so.
Put it in front of the obvious: a sprain when playing basketball? Hence the need for warm-up! He learns at his expense.
Do not give in immediately when he wants to give up a new activity. It goes on for another month, and then you will think. If it becomes a pain, allow it to stop. But warn him for the next activity: whatever the sport, he will not get there right away.
The effort and the school!
With Brigitte Prot, teacher, school motivation specialist (www.acmee.fr)
Establish a non-negotiable daily work ritual and a time slot from the primary. Concentration and intellectual gymnastics are exercised over time, and the fold can be acquired until the second. After that, it's more difficult. Many say, "I'll be there when I'm in my branch." But often, young adults, they are no longer able to do so because they lack work habits and basic knowledge.
Establish rules : homework before screens. Also eliminate the stresses in the room where it works: no TV in the room.
Make his motivation emerge other than by the carrot. This is not the way to give meaning to learning.
Choose positive sanctions . It's better to force him to do something with his family by giving him a responsibility: "You're the one who makes the alarm call every morning this week." So, while making an effort, he finds your trust in another plan school.
Give meaning to learning, grasp the opportunities of life to show the applications and the purpose. For example, English is used to communicate with the world and geography helps to travel.
Make him dream to later, so, a desire motivates him and he imagines the result. Also make the link between the immediate requirements and the long-term goal (read a little every day ...).
Give her short-term goals : how to take a 0 in spelling? By an exercise of the Bled every evening!
Encourage it . Often the absence of effort comes from renunciation, for fear of not achieving it. Look at his notebooks since the beginning of the year and see his progress together.
Watch out for the messages you are making, for example by asking yourself in September about the holidays of All Saints and Christmas ... As if the work was an unpleasant interlude between two holiday periods!
Speak true : "When I was little, I also found it hard to stay at school and do my homework, but now I realize that what I have learned serves me."
To read :
"I'm not motivated, I do not on purpose!", By Brigitte Prot. Ed. Albin Michel.
"Can do better" Removal of his child at school and From child child to tyrant child, Didier Pleux. Ed. Odile Jacob
The stuff of parents to give them taste to the effort!
Eric, father of Tom, 11: "I took him on a very young hike. I divide the walk into short sequences and putting mini-lenses : the chamois that one sees above, the snack, the night in refuge. "
Anne, mother of Léo, 15: "I create in him clicks by making him measure the consequences of his laziness . "In your school, they do not keep those who do not work. If you redouble, you add another year of high school." I also play on his self-esteem and make him taste the pride of having a 15. "
Marc, Paul's grandfather, 16: "He wants to make music and has only Star Ac to mouth! I am a cabinet-maker and he sees me a hundred times on the trade to hand over my work. I slip to him that creativity also works , that art is 90% of work and 10% donation. "
Françoise, mother of Cléophée, 5 years old: "She begins to form her letters and I teach her to put them on the line. After two or three attempts, either she becomes discouraged and begins to cry, or she runs away, as if she did not care. I urge her to persevere . "
Fabrice, father of four daughters: "During their childhood and adolescence, there was a chart of tasks . It was they who conceived it at the beginning of the school year. For each day, each of them and I had a responsibility : to vacuum, to fold the linen, to get rid of ... Their mother took care of the races and the kitchen. "
Gérard, father of 2 boys: "At the moment, no TV or video games during the week except on Tuesday evening. I'm waiting for the next bulletin to relax, possibly, the rule. "
Christian, father of David, 14 years: "It is very spoiled (computer, laptop, holidays ...). I often remind him that all this, the beautiful car, and the well-paid job, is elbow grease and skull juice every day! "
